The Twisted Cape | Superheroes | United States

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Mike's Thicc Stack Attacc #1 Contest Rules

"The New Mutants" Release Canceled

Red Skull Left to Clean Up Gamora and Natasha Romanov

Opinion: The Flash is Slowly Becoming My Least Favorite Arrowverse Show

Lantern Bug Outbreak has Unlikely Source

Lantern Bug Outbreak has Unlikely Source

COAST CITY – Recently, Coast City has been the victim of an infestation problem – the Spotted Lanternfly has been ‘spotted’ in multiple locations across the city and all over the region. If you are unfamiliar, the Spotted Lanternfly or Lantern Bug, originates from Asia typically and feeds on fruit trees causing billions of dollars of damage. Despite being linked to Asia as an origin, the Twisted Cape has it on good authority that they frequently follow Green Lantern energy a

Doctor Strange Places the Sanctum Sanctorum on the Market

Thor Sued After Bachelor Party Incident

Thor Sued After Bachelor Party Incident

NEW YORK CITY – Member of the Avengers, Thor Odinson, is being sued after an incident at a local gentlemen’s club. Witnesses say that while attending the bachelor party for Benjamin Grimm, aka The Thing of the Fantastic Four, the Asgardian was introduced to the concept of “making it rain” and “making it thunderstorm.” It seems like there was a classic case of misunderstanding and the God of Thunder took it as an homage and tribute to his specialty. One of the workers at the

A New Term Begins for the X-Men’s ‘B-Class’

A New Term Begins for the X-Men’s ‘B-Class’

With the start of the new term at Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters, we thought it would be nice if we caught up with some of the teachers in the school to see how things were going. We were obviously the most interested in reaching out to Scott Summers who in the past was teaching the so-called ‘B-Class’ of new students. When we sat down with him about the new students he wasted no time in continuing his tirade against the lot. “Well fuck,” he begins. “Another year, anot

The Flash Sued By Users of His New Ride Sharing App ‘FlashTrip’

The Flash Sued By Users of His New Ride Sharing App ‘FlashTrip’

Justice League member The Flash recently was caught up in a legal battle over an app that he created. The app, called ‘FlashTrip,’ was said to be a direct competitor to other ride-sharing apps on the market but with the added benefit of little wait times and insanely fast trips to your destination. Essentially The Flash, when not saving the city/planet/universe, would zip around to client’s locations, pick them up, and then speed them off to where they needed to go. This all

Superman Takes Honeymooners Too Seriously, Now Wanted for Murder

Superman Takes Honeymooners Too Seriously, Now Wanted for Murder

In a very disturbing development, Earth’s mightiest hero, Superman, is wanted for the murder of Lois Lane. “We heard the two laughing inside Ms. Lane’s apartment, and then we heard a huge boom and crash,” said Lane’s neighbor. Apparently, the two had been watching the Honeymooners, and Superman got carried away with his Gleason impression. Superman, currently in custody after turning himself in, had this to say: “I was just trying to fool around, but this one really got away

Batman Drops Falling Victim, "It was the pizza grease, I swear."

Batman Drops Falling Victim, "It was the pizza grease, I swear."

One Justice League pizza social went horribly wrong for one of its most prominent members, Batman. According to JLHQ, Batman had to leave the party early in order to tend to a situation in Gotham City where a citizen was threatening to jump off a building. “He said he had to help a woman, and then winked and smiled. It was weird because he had a bunch of green peppers and spinach in his teeth from the pizza. But I don’t know what that wink was about,” said Shazam. Of course,

Scott Summers Continues to Teach X-Men ‘B Class’

Scott Summers Continues to Teach X-Men ‘B Class’

A few months ago we met up with Scott Summers at Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters where he teaches the X-Men’s “B Class” of students. Returning to the school we were able to meet with Mr Summers again to see what the status of his position has been since our first meeting. “Awful,” he stated, “I had hoped that since then Xavier would have gained some sense and given this gig to someone else. But no, here I am continuing to teach these sub-par kids.” Despite being in the

Martian Manhunter's Request to be Known as Martian Meatbeater is Rejected

Martian Manhunter's Request to be Known as Martian Meatbeater is Rejected

According to an inside source at Justice League HQ, the hero known as Martian Manhunter has had yet another rejected request for a name change. Manhunter, being one of the League’s earliest and most prominent members, has always had a tough road in getting the public behind him. Not only does he look intimidating, green, and fundamentally different than any human, but his name is very suggestive towards possibly ripping a person in two. According to reports, this isn’t the on

Three Pizza Delivery Men Missing - Justice League Under Investigation

Three Pizza Delivery Men Missing - Justice League Under Investigation

The Justice League is currently under investigation by the U.N. due to the mysterious disappearances of several pizza delivery guys. According to Tony Atoni, of Tony Atoni’s Pizzeria, the last three delivery guys to go to the Hall of Justice have gone missing. “A-this is insane-a. I can’t-a believe Superman would do such a thing. Someone-a needs to pay,” said Tony. The Hall of Justice is currently undergoing massive changes, as it is being prepped for the implementation of th

Flash Graffitis Himself All Over Central City

Flash Graffitis Himself All Over Central City

Graffiti images of the Flash have begun to pop up throughout Central City. The images seemingly appeared overnight which begged the question as to who the culprit of this vandalism was and their motive. Below is an image of the graffitti taken and submitted by a Central City citizen. In a shocking turn of events the culprit appears to have been the Scarlet Speedster himself. Amy Stevens, local bakery owner, said that she witnessed the Flash himself performing this self portra

Bruce Wayne Audited by IRS, Suspicious Deductions Revealed

Bruce Wayne Audited by IRS, Suspicious Deductions Revealed

Recently billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne was visited by several members of the US Internal Revenue Service. The purpose of this visit: an audit on his yearly tax statement. While the full details are not known, some rather interesting items have been discovered and disclosed by unnamed sources to the public. For starters, it appears as if Mr Wayne has claimed several children on his return despite not actually having children of his own. According to sources this has been a r

Green Lantern Starts #DickslapDarkseid and People Are Not Happy

Green Lantern Starts #DickslapDarkseid and People Are Not Happy

With the power of the Lantern Corp at his will, John Stewart, current Green Lantern from Earth, has landed himself in a world of trouble over the possible inappropriate misuse of his power ring. According to eyewitnesses, during Darkseid’s last attempt to destroy planet Earth, the Green Lantern employed tactics that were “inexcusable, disgusting, and utterly humiliating.” According to one man, Harold Kish, 34, the whole thing “was just a really bad pun. I mean look, I get it,

Tony Stark Develops New Vacuum, Chaos Ensues

Tony Stark Develops New Vacuum, Chaos Ensues

Esteemed inventor Tony Stark, the man in the Iron Man suit, has unveiled his newest contribution to the world: an autonomous vacuum cleaner for your home. But of course this is Mr. Stark that we’re talking about so naturally a simple vacuum cleaner wouldn’t suffice. This device hosts a bevy of additional unnecessary features. One such feature is an AI system which learns how best to clean your home as it works. While this seems like a neat feature there has been an unforeseen

Bruce Wayne Facing Child Abuse Charges

Bruce Wayne Facing Child Abuse Charges

In a shocking turn of events, billionaire, philanthropist, and playboy Bruce Wayne is possibly facing child abuse charges due to a recent event at a Gotham Art Gala. According to sources, Bruce Wayne’s adopted son, Jason Todd, was playing a game with Bruce that involves the instigating player getting another player to look at the instigator's fingers when put in the certain pose that resembles the “ok” hand gesture and placed below the waist. Apparently, if the instigating pl

Tensions Continue to Rise in the Middle East

Tensions Continue to Rise in the Middle East

Tensions in the Middle East continue to escalate as the region is on the verge destabilization once again. This new round of tension arose in part thanks to the controversial appointments of key players in the Iraqi and Iranian governments. The new leaders, who assumed power- Booooooring!! Wait what the hell? Seriously dude, if you want to get people to read this shit you have to spice it up a bit. Wait what’s going on? Why is that text red? Who’s typing this? Listen it doesn

Ego Uses Arnold Schwarzenegger Soundboard to Evade Further Questioning from Quill

Ego Uses Arnold Schwarzenegger Soundboard to Evade Further Questioning from Quill

In a recent effort to connect estranged children to their parents yet again, the YMCA hosted a local event which aimed to do just that. “A lot of times kids find out who their parents are, but they just don’t have the proper venue to meet with them and break the ice. This way, everyone has a safe space to reconnect and have a little fun doing so,” said Diane Leight, the event organizer. The event hosted nearly 200 kids and their estranged parent(s), which included a Guardian

Doctor Octopus Unveils New Weapon to Use Against Spider-man: A Giant Bug Zapper

Doctor Octopus Unveils New Weapon to Use Against Spider-man: A Giant Bug Zapper

Trying to contain his excitement, Doctor Octopus, long-time rival to the web-slinger Spider-man, unveiled his latest plan to defeat his foe. Standing in front of a red satin curtain he exclaimed that he had finally found the final solution. “Behold,” he beckoned while pulling back the curtain to reveal a giant bug zapper. “It’s so brilliant and simple, I can’t believe I hadn’t thought of it sooner!” A hush fell on the crowd followed by quiet murmurs of confusion. One brave so

Future Foundation, Ralph Lauren Partnership

Future Foundation, Ralph Lauren Partnership

According to an inside source at the Baxter Building (home of the formerly Fantastic Four), and through a rep at Ralph Lauren, it has been confirmed that the technology known as “unstable molecules,” which up until now has been used exclusively in the Future Foundation's suits, will now be used in a new line of Ralph Lauren underwear for men and women. “Think about it, no stains, no mess, no embarrassment,” said Reed Richards, a.k.a Mister Fantastic, leader and founder of the

Sinister Side Jobs

Sinister Side Jobs

Many of us are familiar with the Sinister Six. They are a group of supervillains who have frequently battled Spider-Man individually and as a group. As time has gone on they have all been responsible for millions of dollars of property damage, kidnapping, and many other crimes. All of the members of the Six have spent time in jail or a psychiatric center for rehabilitation. At the recommendation of their group psychologist, Dr. Karla Sofen, they have all decided to take u

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