Bruce Wayne Audited by IRS, Suspicious Deductions Revealed

Recently billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne was visited by several members of the US Internal Revenue Service. The purpose of this visit: an audit on his yearly tax statement. While the full details are not known, some rather interesting items have been discovered and disclosed by unnamed sources to the public. For starters, it appears as if Mr Wayne has claimed several children on his return despite not actually having children of his own. According to sources this has been a recurring deduction over the years with Wayne making a total of five deductions for children over his lifetime, with the first appearing around the same time that the masked vigilante Batman acquired his sidekick Robin. In addition to this, his return seems to have several itemized purchases listed as ‘business expenses.’ These items include a whole host of electronics, chemicals used in common forensic analyses, and medical supplies. Most non-billionaire people wouldn’t typically have a need for these items so it seems rather odd for Mr Wayne to be purchasing these items, in such large quantities as well, but hey the rich are rather eccentric people so why not. There were also a bevy of ‘home-maintenance’ related items as well which were quite unusual. Included in these were items such as spelunking gear, elevator installations, construction to install hidden passageways throughout his manor, and rodent repellent specifically targeted for bats. Most of these items point to some sort of cave-dwelling situation but this is Bruce Wayne so obviously he’s not living in a cave. Our source at the IRS though did confirm that Mr Wayne attempted to keep this information under wraps however. He went so far as to on several occasions attempt to purchase the IRS in order to prevent the information from leaking. It seems that we’ll never actually be able to truly understand what goes on this eccentric billionaire’s mind. #DC #BruceWayne #Batman #Satire

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