Cyborg Stuck Standing Still While Software Updates Install

The half-man, half-machine member of the Justice League known as Cyborg has been immobile at the team’s headquarters while software updates install onto his system. “He’s just been standing there. Staring. A blank, haunted look on his face,” said The Flash in a slightly disturbed tone. “It’s been about 3 days now.” A new update notification was sent to Cyborg on Thursday afternoon, stated Batman. Since the team wasn’t currently attending to any urgent matters Cyborg didn’t see any harm in doing a quick update. As of Sunday morning he was still in a low power state while updates continued to be installed. “One of two things happened. He either silently crashed while updating,” continued Batman, “or he hasn’t updated in years so he’s racked up thousands of updates. We don’t want to force a restart on him and potentially crash his system.” “Oh it’s been fantastic!” added the Green Lantern, ever the jokester. “We’ve been able to dress him up in all sorts of weird outfits and suggestive positions. I can’t wait until he sees the picture with the tutu and the rolling pin!” Author’s Note: He showed me this picture. It was quite gratuitous and disturbing. Batman mentioned what the greatest loss has been since Cyborg fell into this ‘coma’: their instantaneous IT support. “Yes I have the ability to fix any of these systems no problem,” the Dark Knight explained. “But why would I bother wasting my time when I can waste his time?” At the time of publishing there has been no word yet as to whether he has finished updating. #DC #Cyborg #JusticeLeague #Satire

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