Dr. Manhattan Doesn’t Understand People’s Discomfort Being Around Him
People always seem hesitant to be around Dr. Manhattan, despite him being one of the most brilliant and pivotal people in American history.
“I can see every potentiality of every decision in the universe simultaneously, but I don’t understand why people seem awkward around me,” he says when asked by a local reporter. “Maybe it has something to do with how I view the universe or that my skin is blue that people can’t seem to relate with.”
When we caught up with this reporter after the interview and asked the same question, she quickly spat back the obvious.
“He’s always naked,” said the reporter with a look of worried concern on her face. “Like how does he not realize this? Sure he may have evolved passed the need for clothes but hello the rest of us haven’t!”
When this was mentioned to Dr. Manhattan, he responded with “I feel no need to concern myself with something so simple as clothes. And I do in fact sometimes wear a speedo.”
“I would say that the speedo leaves little to the imagination,” said the same reporter, “but there isn’t any imagination left when you see him walking around and BAM! Giant blue dick in your face. It’s really quite distracting.”
“And don’t even get me started on when he multiplies himself while naked. You’re just going about, minding your own business, when there’s suddenly a dozen blue Johnsons staring back at you. It’s a little unsettling.”
Police are investigating the situation as a possible case of indecent public exposure.