Gambit’s Deck of Cards Reportedly Switched With Pinochle Deck


Upon their arrival in Cambodia, where civil war has ignited due to a growing mutant population, the X-Men exited their jet one member short. We were able to catch up with the disgruntled hero during the incident and had this to say: “There’s a system. Unless I have a full deck I can’t be expected to perform at full capacity.”

Reports indicate that a Pinochle deck only consists of 48 cards and contains two copies of the numbers 9 & 10, as well as the royal cards and ace. “I can’t use 9 & 10 unless I count up from 1 first.”, said the hero.

When asked why re-using the same card number was an issue, LeBeaue’s response was, “Condoms and cards, you get fucked by both. You don’t use a condom twice, I don’t use my cards twice.” The TC was able to catch up with some other members of the team during a water-break to comment on the incident. One member, Wolverine, seemed to care very little, stating, “That southern bell can take his stripper pole and cards and drown in a God-damn bayou for all I care.”

It was later revealed by another member of the team that Gambit had recently lost a game of 52 pick-up to Wolverine and had to buy another deck of cards, which is when he mistakenly purchased the Pinochle deck. Back in the U.S. the TC was able to catch up with a local convenience store owner who said, “I told him it wasn’t a normal deck of cards, but he just put his hand on my register and it exploded. After that, I didn’t care to give him any more advice.”

Sources confirmed that LeBeau spent the remainder of the mission putting white out on the duplicate numbers of his deck and writing the rest of the numbers with a fine point sharpie.

#XMen #Gambit #Marvel #Satire

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