Sinister Side Jobs


Many of us are familiar with the Sinister Six. They are a group of supervillains who have frequently battled Spider-Man individually and as a group. As time has gone on they have all been responsible for millions of dollars of property damage, kidnapping, and many other crimes. All of the members of the Six have spent time in jail or a psychiatric center for rehabilitation. At the recommendation of their group psychologist, Dr. Karla Sofen, they have all decided to take up side jobs to keep themselves busy and away from a life of crime. The Twisted Cape has caught up with each former member of the supervillain team to check on their progress.

Green Goblin

This one-time leader of the Sinister Six has taken a joke that his nemesis, Spider-Man, has continuously made at his expense and turned it into a sound business practice. He now sells designer purses and man-bags, called Goblin Grab Bags, anchored by their signature pumpkin logo and zipper. Since their introduction into the market, they have exploded with popularity. They have been the best selling new item on Amazon, giving the Goblin unprecedented success, particularly in the hipster community.

Doctor Octopus

The brilliant Doctor Octopus has spent much of his time trying to prove his brilliance to others. However, Dr. Sofen has suggested that he take some time to do something that would be helpful to others. Dr. Octavius has developed “Octo-arms for Seniors”. This product is in direct competition with the Grabber or Grab-It. Since it’s controlled by thought, it has been a tumultuous product roll out, with reports of seniors losing train of thought with destructive, and occasionally hilarious results. Dr. Octavius will see if he can work out the bugs for Octo-arms 2.0.

Kraven the Hunter

Kraven has spent much of his time hunting in the jungle, studying animals. In order to find something that he considered worthwhile, he was advised to use his existing knowledge to pursue a worthwhile endeavor. As a result, he has developed a new fragrance called Scent of the Wild, developed through animal pheromones and a rare nectar. It has received a lukewarm reception; however, sales justify keeping it on shelves.

Sandman

The Sandman has taken an unexpected route in his rehabilitation. He has opened a brand-new spa in the middle of Manhattan called Sandy’s and it is doing incredibly well. Inside he’s created a relaxing, beach-style atmosphere. One of the main attractions is the ability to get a sand facial as well as a full body sand massage, which sounds creepy, but is apparently delightful. Best of all, because the Sandman can control all of the sand, no pesky grains of sand end up in your clothes or on your person when you are all done.

The Vulture

The Vulture has started a company where, for a nominal fee, he will take you out on a tour of New York City, from his… unique vantage point. Accidents have occurred leading to people being dropped in the Hudson River. The lawsuits are pending, yet, thrill seekers seem to continue to line up to experience this once in a lifetime opportunity.

Electro

Max Dillon aka Electro has taken a position with a visual effects company, where he is exclusively in charge of lightning effects. To date, he’s been a part of several of the movies nominated for Best Visual Effects from the last year.

#Marvel #Spiderman #SinisterSix #Satire