Future Foundation, Ralph Lauren Partnership
According to an inside source at the Baxter Building (home of the formerly Fantastic Four), and through a rep at Ralph Lauren, it has been confirmed that the technology known as “unstable molecules,” which up until now has been used exclusively in the Future Foundation's suits, will now be used in a new line of Ralph Lauren underwear for men and women.
“Think about it, no stains, no mess, no embarrassment,” said Reed Richards, a.k.a Mister Fantastic, leader and founder of the Future Foundation. “No longer will you take off your undergarments and feel the shame of seeing the slight mark of the brown downtown, or the red between the spread. No more.”
The science behind these unstable molecules is complex, and will remain a secret for only the Future Foundation to behold, but the bottom line behind the tech maintains that due to the nature of the material, the garments can never become dirty or soiled, never needing to be washed or cleaned.
At a recent press conference, Mr. Lauren had this to say about the exciting new clothing line, “Think about it, no more constant washing of your clothes. This not only preserves the life of the garment, but reduces wear on your costly to repair washing machines as well as saves money for the average consumer on their water bill every month.”
To say Mr. Lauren was excited is an understatement, and is without a doubt caused by the massive rise in stock the company is experiencing. In fact, the company is maintaining the highest stock prices to date.
It has also been reported that included in the contract for this partnership, Ralph Lauren will now produce Polo shirts for Ben Grimm who has not been able to wear one since the transformation of his body to its current form as Thing, and he couldn’t be more excited.
“When the ladies see me now, well, it’s gonna be clobberin’ time, if ya know what I mean.”