Tensions Continue to Rise in the Middle East
Tensions in the Middle East continue to escalate as the region is on the verge destabilization once again. This new round of tension arose in part thanks to the controversial appointments of key players in the Iraqi and Iranian governments.
The new leaders, who assumed power-
Wait what the hell?
Seriously dude, if you want to get people to read this shit you have to spice it up a bit.
Wait what’s going on? Why is that text red? Who’s typing this?
Listen it doesn’t really matter who I am. Consider me a friendly badass who’s here to make sure your career doesn’t go into the crapper.
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Who the hell is Deadpool?
….I’m just going to pretend that you didn’t say that. Ok so listen, what’s something that piques everyone’s interests?
I don’t know and I don’t-
BOOBS! And violence. Throw some of that shit in there and you’re golden!
What? No, this is a serious article about the ramifications of the potentially destabil-
Enough with the nerd shit! Here let me help. (.) (.) There! Boobs! That should get us a Pulitzer or whatever the hell it is you journalist nerds get.
I’m not throwing boobs and gratuitous violence in here for the sake of readers. This is a very important discussion about-
Listen asshat, I’m just trying to help. But you obviously don’t appreciate this so I’m just going to let you drive yourself into the ground. I’m going to go write my own article and it’s going to be nothing but boobs, blood, and explosions! I’ve just got to figure out how to physically make the reader’s computer explode now.