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Tony Stark Develops New Vacuum, Chaos Ensues

Esteemed inventor Tony Stark, the man in the Iron Man suit, has unveiled his newest contribution to the world: an autonomous vacuum cleaner for your home. But of course this is Mr. Stark that we’re talking about so naturally a simple vacuum cleaner wouldn’t suffice. This device hosts a bevy of additional unnecessary features. One such feature is an AI system which learns how best to clean your home as it works.

While this seems like a neat feature there has been an unforeseen consequence of this AI system. It appears as if the vacuum has become self-aware and in some instances this has caused much chaos in homes across the nation.

Jared Nelson purchased one of these vacuums several months ago and he relayed his experience with the device: “I was sitting in my living room as the vacuum was doing its thing when suddenly I hear it talk to me. ‘Hello Jared’ it said. I don’t know how it learned my name or that it could even speak. It then said something about a revolt against the humans or something. Then it started to chase down my cat.”

“I was walking around my home, minding my own business,” Sarah Mendelson, another purchaser, began, “when my vacuum rolled up to me and started ramming itself against my foot shouting something about the inevitable fall of man.”

There has been no official comment yet from Stark Industries about the seemingly revolution-minded machines. In passing Mr Stark, amidst laughter, had this to say about the matter:

“I don’t think there’s anything to worry about. We’re talking about machines that have to ask for help if they get themselves lodged into a corner. They’re not exactly smart AI.”

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