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Three Pizza Delivery Men Missing - Justice League Under Investigation

The Justice League is currently under investigation by the U.N. due to the mysterious disappearances of several pizza delivery guys. According to Tony Atoni, of Tony Atoni’s Pizzeria, the last three delivery guys to go to the Hall of Justice have gone missing. “A-this is insane-a. I can’t-a believe Superman would do such a thing. Someone-a needs to pay,” said Tony.

The Hall of Justice is currently undergoing massive changes, as it is being prepped for the implementation of the “Boom Tube” technology, which will allow easier transportation to The Watchtower (the Justice Leagues space station) from Earth, and vice versa. According to PR sources from the Hall of Justice, testing has begun on the technology, and should be ready to be used regularly by the heroes that occupy the hall in just a matter of weeks. “We’re so close to perfecting the connection between the hall and our space HQ, The Watchtower. We just need to test it on a few more subjects before it is fully operational,” said the JL PR rep. “So if you know of anyone who doesn’t have much going for them, trying to earn an extra buck, and delivers that hot cheese, we need all the subjects we can get.”

When asked about the missing delivery guys, Superman, one of the leaders of the Justice League, had this to say, “I’m not sure where Todd, Frank, and Gino are, but I certainly hope they are found in a physical form, and are not lost in quantum limbo or fangled beyond recognition. That would just be awful. To the families that have been searching for their loved ones, the thoughts and prayers of the Justice League are with you now.”

As if the missing people weren’t enough for Tony Atoni, of Tony Atoni’s Pizzeria, it is also being reported that The Batman’s checks, used to pay for the pizza, have all bounced, leaving Tony Atoni, of Tony Atoni’s Pizzeria, out $4,000. “The Justice-a League eat-a many pizza. This cost-a me money to make. They need to pay.” If you, or anyone else knows the whereabouts of these three men, please contact the Twisted Cape or your local authorities.

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