Scott Summers Continues to Teach X-Men ‘B Class’


A few months ago we met up with Scott Summers at Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters where he teaches the X-Men’s “B Class” of students. Returning to the school we were able to meet with Mr Summers again to see what the status of his position has been since our first meeting.

“Awful,” he stated, “I had hoped that since then Xavier would have gained some sense and given this gig to someone else. But no, here I am continuing to teach these sub-par kids.”

Despite being in the position for several months now he hasn’t gained any more appreciation for the students, we asked him.

“I’ve got a student right now who can phase themselves through walls but only when they’re singing the Hokey-Pokey and then they can only phase the part of their body that they’re singing about in the song,” he began to explain with an air of exasperation.

“Then there’s the girl who can change her appearance like Mystique but has the exact opposite appearance shift. Mystique is naturally blue and changes her appearance to anything else; this girl starts normal looking but when she changes her skin turns blue which obviously compromises her camouflage. The best part? She calls herself ‘Blueberry.’ Just, what the hell.”

“And there’s the one guy who can duplicate himself which seems useful until you realize that every time he does so he splits his overall intelligence between his clones. If he does it once each clone is half as intelligent as the original. And he’s not the brightest to begin with. You’re just left with a room full of idiots who can’t even speak properly because they haven’t got that bit of brain left.”

Having reached a state of utter frustration Mr Summers concluded the interview but not before adding one last statement: “I hate my job.”

#Marvel #XMen #Cyclops #Satire