Batman Drops Falling Victim, "It was the pizza grease, I swear."


One Justice League pizza social went horribly wrong for one of its most prominent members, Batman. According to JLHQ, Batman had to leave the party early in order to tend to a situation in Gotham City where a citizen was threatening to jump off a building. “He said he had to help a woman, and then winked and smiled. It was weird because he had a bunch of green peppers and spinach in his teeth from the pizza. But I don’t know what that wink was about,” said Shazam. Of course, Batman was able to arrive just in the knick of time, but this story sadly does not end well for the victim. Like one out of every 1.2 million flights, Jane Waters, 35, unfortunately plummeted to her death , despite the Dark Knights best efforts. Now the question is everywhere, “What or who is to blame for this tragedy?”

According to certain Leaguers, just before Batman left to go aid in the situation, he had eaten “at least 5 slices of the greasiest pepperoni pizza I have ever seen”, said Mr. Terrific. “It was all over his gloves, and he didn’t even use a napkin to wipe off.” This proved to be fatal for Waters, who, in an ironic twist of fate, was flattened like the very pepperoni that caused her to be dropped. As if matters couldn’t seem to be worse for Batman, as he was flying away in his jet, he accidentally fired a missile at Wayne Enterprises causing at least a dozen injuries and millions of dollars in property damage. Wayne, CEO of Wayne Enterprises, held a press conference to address the ordeal and stated, “I do not believe The Batman would do this on purpose and I will press no charges against him. I do not know why he did this to my company, our city, but maybe he just had too much pizza grease on his fingers. We’ve all been there. You eat the pizza, it drips on your hands, it gets everywhere. Anyway, The Batman has agreed to pay for the damages and his condolences go to the families of the mortally wounded by the incident and in general.”

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