Captain America Issues Apology for Offensive Language
NEW YORK – Breaking news out of Avengers Tower, where a press conference has been called by Captain America, Steve Rogers, behind the podium by himself. While it was unclear why the presser was called, there is speculation about his actions stemming back to his WWII days. Additionally, complaints have been filing in from Atlantis about his political correctness from those days.
He reportedly constantly referred to Bucky and other members of the military as “Chum” at the time*. This was regarded as a friendly term at the time, but now is found incredibly offensive by the people of Atlantis, who view it as an ethnic slur.
“Hello and thank you for being kind enough for joining me today,” Rogers began. “I need to address something from my past and I’d like to come clean. During my time in World War II, as we fought, I used a term with my friend and partner, Bucky Barnes. I am told that the language that I used is offensive to our Atlantean allies. For this I’d like to make amends, beginning by apologizing to Namor and the people of Atlantis.
"I’d also like to apologize to Tony, Thor, Clint, Bucky, and all the other members of the Avengers organization. I placed a stain on the honor of the Avengers and America. Last but not least, I’d like to apologize to the worldwide fans of the Avengers. I will work harder to be a better leader in this future. Thank you for your time.”
At time of print, Avengers spokesman, Tony Stark, says that the Avengers stalwart and field leader Steve Rogers has been placed on indefinite administrative leave until further notice. Keep it here on the Twisted Cape for more stories.
*The Twisted Cape apologizes for needing to print this word to all of our Atlantean readers.