EPA Goes After The Hulk


The TC has learned that the EPA has notified Dr. Bruce Banner AKA The Incredible Hulk that they intend to sue him. We’ve learned that his poops qualify as radioactive waste that have not been properly disposed of.

After speaking with one of his Avengers teammates, who wished to remain anonymous (think hammer), revealed that Tony Stark has replaced all the pipes throughout Avengers Tower to stop them from melting and/or corroding with the help from friend and Fantastic 4 leader, Reed Richards. He says that now bathrooms are no longer a problem in the tower and that now focus needs to be placed on the Quinjets.

A representative from the EPA noted that this is “one of the most clear and present dangers of our time.” When asked if perhaps he was overreacting just a bit given our… subject matter, he responded, "not even a little bit."

Since we take reporting seriously, we traveled to the desert, where Hulk used to reside and found his prior (as described by the EPA) ‘dumping grounds.’ We found an amazing, dangerous oasis with mutated plants and animals irradiated by the Gamma Giant’s fertilized area. The rattlesnake alone was both fascinating and terrifying.

We have reached out to Dr. Banner for his comment, but unfortunately was unavailable. However, we did get in touch with his lawyer, Jen Walters, who says that the charges were "preposterous" and that she would do all that she could to get them thrown out. In an exclusive bit of news, when we asked her how she would defend her client, she simply smiled and said “easy.” She then placed a copy of Everybody Poops on the table citing that it is “an undeniable right.”

Keep an eye for more coverage on this litigious matter right here on The Twisted Cape

#Marvel #TheIncredibleHulk #Satire

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