Nightcrawler Accidentally Teleports Into Kingdom Hall, Becomes Jehovah’s Witness


In what seems to have been a “routine training accident,” according to Professor Charles Xavier, the founder and leader of Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters, a mutant by the name of Nightcrawler disrupted a local gathering of Witnesses, leaving them in absolute shock.

“We were celebrating, I mean, praising, Jehovah, and all the sudden this blue thing pops up in our room and everyone started to freak out,” said one Witness.

However, in an unexpected turn of events, it seems that the mutant has actually joined the church and “is really taking to it. After the third day of worship, he seemed pretty on-board,” said member Bill Floa.

When asked how this could have happened, the TC turned to Professor Xavier for an explanation. “Nightcrawler is still working on controlling his mutant abilities… as of now, he can only teleport himself, and only to places he can physically see. How he ended up in a place away from where he saw, let alone a place with no windows or any visual path to the inside of the hall is, well, it’s beyond me. And it is for this reason that he was not able to teleport outside of the Hall.”

When asked why Nightcrawler did not just simply walk out of the hall, Xavier had no comment.

Sources have also confirmed that the mutant’s new found belief system is interrupting his training at the school due to his commitments at the Hall, and has put a damper on a few things around Xavier’s Institution.

One mutant, who goes by the name of Beast, or Henry McCoy, has stated that “Kur- I mean, Nightcrawler’s, involvement in the church really put a damper on my birthday party yesterday. It was strange indeed, he kind of just watched me blow out the candles on my cake, then left. I just want my friend back.”

No word as of yet in regards to Nightcrawler’s current position in the church. It has also been reported that one piece of cake was unaccounted for after the birthday party. More updates to follow.

#Marvel #XMen #Nightcrawler #Satire