The Flash Sued By Users of His New Ride Sharing App ‘FlashTrip’


Justice League member The Flash recently was caught up in a legal battle over an app that he created. The app, called ‘FlashTrip,’ was said to be a direct competitor to other ride-sharing apps on the market but with the added benefit of little wait times and insanely fast trips to your destination. Essentially The Flash, when not saving the city/planet/universe, would zip around to client’s locations, pick them up, and then speed them off to where they needed to go.

This all sounded well and good until The Flash began to receive lawsuits over the app where he then realized that he forgot to take into account one crucial element: regular, non-super-powered human physiology.

The lawsuits ranged from gross negligence to child endangerment to elder abuse as person after person began to sustain numerous injuries from this ill-conceived plan. Injuries ranged from severe cases of whiplash to broken bones. There was even a lawsuit alleging sexual assault as the intense pressures and speed caused by the ride resulted in a young woman losing her virginity.

One victim, Margaret Bennet, a local curio shop owner, said that her ride was “downright terrifying.” “I requested a ride on the app,” she says, “and he was there in seconds. Then I hopped onto this little saddle type of thing he made and we were gone and at my destination in a few more seconds. It wasn’t until after he had left that I noticed that my vision had blurred due to the amount of blood in my eyes from the numerous popped vessels.”

Michael Wagner, a dressage trainer, said he was “clinging on for dear life and screaming like [he] was a spoiled teenage girl who got the wrong color Mercedes for her sixteenth birthday.”

There has been no word from The Flash himself or his legal council on the matter. Hearings are scheduled to begin in the coming weeks.

#TheFlash #Satire